What I've done

Blejan was flying around up in the sky of Mexico City. Her spread wings shining with the sun rays touching her litmus skin... The weather is nice. 21ºC. Her body comes and turned itself mimicking the cloudy state there.

Laying her feets to the skyscraper in Polanco she can watch what's left of the green in the city. Chapultepec, Los Viveros in Coyoacán, the forest sorrounding what's mainly gray and black. The concrete aspect of the place, the burning heat. The running all over. Everyone trying to catch the next bus, the next stop in a nonsense runaround of being alive in this huge city.

She can breathe the stress, the anguish, but also the hopes and dreams, all those noises of several millions of minds creating altogether the reality they think is best.

Some of them are scaping reality by just telling themselves tomorrow would get better, that there's a future day which would be better. They could rest. They'll do what their hearts telling them. There's a day when, if they work hard today they might be pleased and happy of all this efforts.

While catching those scents and scenes she wonders... What if she remained in her human body? She was experiencing that as well. Always expecting something different from a future that didn't arrived.

Love and hope is a powerful experience always kinda mixed with sadness and suffering when the hurts and pains from the youth reveal through the cracks of each day.

And yes, she remembers him. Mygal had his own programming to live through life.

- He's late... That's strange, he's never late... Well I know is absurd. I got infected with human like thinking. But is also a part of the experience of being here in this place. Life before you as human, Mygal, was so different...

And while she was experiencing that, a huge obscure presence starts to flow around.

His bat like wings consume every little sunshine. His humongous body looks for a place to lay his feet, near her.

She smiles seeing his struggle to find a way to NOT destroy the building while descending... He always forgets his own power...

She flyes up, quickly and higher,  letting him find a way to land at the building. 

He does that. And while doing so he gives her a look trying to understand where is she going to land now.

She gaze at him and flew over, higher, tumbling and diving deep, trying to show him how happy she is to see him again.

And then, she fly away, so quickly, that he's confused 🤔  should he stay? should he go after her?

He never seems to understand what's going on with her. So quickly changing. So quickly adjusting. So quickly coming and going...

And then, like a sonic boom. She's back. An instant for him. An eternity for her.

She gets near him. Too close that makes him feel uncomfortable. 

They haven't been so close for a long time. He hasn't forgotten what had happened, what she said...

- You seem surprised... Blejan said - I saw you were struggling with how we'll fit in together... That's why I left. But I was never going to leave you. I promised you I wouldn't. And I haven't. - Her eyes got bigger and directly at his eyesight. -You didn't believe I would really go? Do you Mygal?, she said... You were struggling already with everything and everyone around you. And I noticed that. And it wasn't fair for you or me to keep you hearing my concerns and hurts, nor normal that I stayed feeling how I felt, specially since you couldn't do anything more. Right? You told me to, you told me you couldn't do anything different... Right ?  And I know I got upset and really disappointed... I couldn't understand how, this big and sturdy guy, couldn't juggle with everything... It was my mistake. You had told me already, you needed space and time, but those feelings of pain and hurt I couldn't bear them... I'm so sorry. That it took me all this time to get rid of them, and now I am here, wondering... Are you willing Mygal to start over? or what should I do?... She is too close to him trying to understand what is he thinking... - I know you were hurt as well Mygal... I know that I hurt you that day. I know that you saw me leaving knowing I was hurt. I know wasn't easy to see, nor to feel for you. And I also know that you decide everything for long term. So that's why I asked you to show up. And yes I know for you is very short notice. And yes I know that you could think I don't deserve any more chances. After I  left when you asked me not to. But I also know that you know that I wouldn't resist being as we were, without touching, without presence. But you hoped that I could wait more, and I did for a long time. And you knew I might left you given the circumstances. You knew... I know that in some of your dreamless nights you whispered, asking for more time with me, like we were, because you didn't wanted to do things my way or anyone else's. Your own bringing up. Your childhood. Our adolescence. Everything that shaped you as you... Everything was resisting to just BE around us and near. You've kinda felt I needed to be re educated, be more patient, wait until you were really ready.

And you knew over all those years that we could end up here, were we are. Distanced. You also make choices. Can you see where we are now? Because, hey, you know me. Like nobody can, you know me and I know you...  That's why I asked you so many times: please don't let my hand go. Don't leave me feeling like I am alone.  And there we were... Now I am here, again and I know you're here too. So... What's is going to be?

She lands with her feet between his. Very much close... He can smell her body. And yes she has changed. Aging and learning does that. He has changed as well. He noticed it. He can see himself from time to time. And he tries not to judge. He's not perfect. And she knows it. He knows deep down, she knows him. Every little twerk and dark crack. Every shadow. Every dark though and every twisted like. She knows him, she really does like nobody else can.

A mid sided smile barely shows on his face. He remains in silence. She asked for him to do whatever he needed, she was all this fuss and about, those writings, that hurt, he didn't wanted to see her like that. And moreover he didn't wanted to be the cause of it. She had told him to reach her until he has finished. And he hasn't finished. Not really. Why is she here? How come, she dares to try and just "summon him" he had promised himself that if she is gone she should remain gone. She left him, and he said this would be the last time. She can stay gone. Right? How can she dare to just show up? To ask him for something, when she abandon everything? When he was working for them?... He makes a pause...

Well... Not always... She is telling the truth... She asked him not to left her alone but he wasn't really leaving... Not really... Right? 

He can't accept just yet he was really comfortable as they were. Not really having anything to be responsible for. Just pleasure. Just friendship. Just love with out commitments or Attachments... Free love. But, she just wanted more time together. Why couldn't he give her that? He knows he has always hiding some parts of himself. And she can tell. Is sometimes suffocating because he can't hide like he learned over the years. 

He sighed softly...

- I didn't wanted to hurt you... he says.

- Nor did I... She says. Sometimes that happens. What's important is what we do and chose after the hurts passed. And my hurts have passed. I don't know about yours...

- Mygal... Are you still willing to be around or near me? Please think about it... I'll send a hello. Soon. If you want to be around could you please answer? Either way I promised I would be around and I will Because I will remain here. Ok?

His silence is like an eternal pause... Just feeling and watching her just sitting at his feet. She was also seeing the city and being silently present.

- Blejan... Mygal said...

And then everything dissolved into the gaze of my eyes... Everything dissolved and I woke up. I yawned... Finally, it is August... Blanca though...